Super Dumb Stuff People Trying to Lose Weight Say

“I’m going to start exercising after I lose weight”. No, goofball. Start moving TODAY! This is like waiting to sleep until you start dreaming. You can’t have a hard/lean body, strength, resilience, endurance, or a powerful heart/lung combo without exercise. Eat right and exercise today and every “today”, and your weight will eventually cease to be an issue.

“I drink “weight loss” smoothies after my workouts”. No, you don’t. You suck down 400 calories after your workouts, offsetting the 350 calories you burned while training. THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A WEIGHT LOSS SMOOTHIE! There are also no weight-loss apples, weight-loss coffees, weight-loss burgers or weight-loss potatoes. It’s all just food. Make sure you’re eating the right amounts of the right foods for the size you’d like to be. Read this to learn the exact formula for weight loss. In my book, low-calorie produce-based smoothies make a great substitute for ice cream sodas. They have zero magical powers though.

“It’s OK to eat or drink recklessly because it’s my birthday”. Ummm. Do what you want to do, but let’s be perfectly clear. Calories count on your birthday, they count on Christmas, they count when your spouse is a jerk, they count on Girls Night Out, they count when you’re tailgating and they even count during that time of the month. One dumb dinner at a sports bar can completely undo all of your weight loss efforts throughout the week. Again, if you want to go out and have a little something extra, so be it. But if you’re going to go down chips, a huge meal, tons of alcohol and dessert, and think it won’t affect you because you “deserve it” … think again. Instead of trying to have fun by eating food, I recommend you have fun by finding some actual fun. Dancing, bowling, zip lining, softball or hiking could be a good start. Food doesn’t tell jokes. It doesn’t make you laugh. Aim for something that does.

“I’m just going to use body-slimming wraps.” Yep! Ignore all science and rationale. The facts show that weight loss happens as a result of quality eating habits, calorie management and increased physical activity. But, you think it’s a good idea to pay out the nose to wrap yourself in a sticky gooey “miracle scarf”. Yep. That makes a lot of sense. Instead of falling for snake-oil salesmen, go back to the basics. Exact Formula for Weight Loss

“I’m buying the weight-loss pills my neighbor is selling”. Another good idea #notreally.  Folks – don’t buy pills from ANYONE who’s not a pharmacist. HELLO!!! Think about it. Also, if a magical weight loss pill existed, wouldn’t Oprah Winfrey be a size 10?

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“I don’t do strength training, because I don’t want to bulk up”. WOW! How exciting for you! Almost everyone else in the world has to lift enormous amounts of weight and eat aggressively to GAIN. But, you? You can just bulk up with a basic strength training routine to firm up and earn strength? How impressive! Folks, unless you are a true anomaly, you’re highly unlikely to “get big” from strength training unless you’re seriously TRYING to get big. In fact, earning muscle will boost your metabolism helping you burn FAT, leaving you THINNER. Trust me, I lift an obscene amount of weight, but it’s only left me with a lean hard body. Nothing on me is “big”, except for my big and loud mouth. And truly, strength training is my secret to maintaining a lean hard body. Fear not. 

If I sound snarky or mean, I don’t me to be. However, I desperately want you ALL to feel great and love your body. Please stop falling for this nonsense. And please stop spending your hard-earned money on false promises. I’m a fairly sarcastic girl so don’t take my “tone” for anything other than it is. Sometimes I cheer as enthusiastically as I can for you, and sometimes I just need to knock some sense into you. What are some of the dumbest things you’ve heard people say when trying to lose weight?

If you’re sick of seeing your friends go down the wrong road too, share this with them. SHARING IS GOOD.