This Super Bowl Sunday, the score of the game is not the only thing one should anticipate counting. The number of calories Americans will absorb into their bodies on this unofficial “Couch Potato Holiday” is assured to be astronomical, and an insightful professor at Hunter College has come up with a hilariously truthful and ironic way of equating these calories to the activities in which the average American would have to take part in order to combat the atrocities some of us will undoubtedly commit against our bodies during Super Bowl XLVIII.
Below are the findings of the study conducted by Dr. Charles Platkin of Hunter College and dietdetective.com:
GIANT ONE FOOT ITALIAN SUB = WALKING THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE UPWARDS OF 14 TIMES (16.2 MILES)
A long walk for a long Italian sub made with provolone cheese, Genoa salami, spicy pepperoni, black forest ham, mayo and mustard.
JUST ONE DORITOS CHIP = DANCING TO BRUNO MARS’ “LOCKED OUT OF HEAVEN” DURING HALFTIME
You would have to dance to the entire song to burn off just one Doritos chip, which has 12 3/4 calories.
SIX CHILI’S FAJITA BEEF CLASSIC NACHOS = RUNNING 242.5 FOOTBALL FIELDS
Pacing 242.5 football fields at a brisk walk would only burn the calories of half the order.
FOUR SWIGS OF BUD LIGHT BEER = EIGHT MINUTES OF PLAYING PROFESSIONAL FOOTBALL
Taking just four swigs of Bud light will cost you about 36 calories.
SINGLE RITZ CRACKER WITH CHEEZ WHIZ = 21 MINUTES PREPARING, COOKING, SERVING AND CLEANING UP AFTER THE SUPER BOWL PARTY
One Ritz cracker has 16 calories, and a tablespoon of Kraft Cheez Whiz contains 45 calories, for a grand total of 61 calories in a single bite.
ONE NEW YORK CITY PRETZEL = 111 MINUTES BEING THE TEAM MASCOT
New York City is the home of the giant hot street pretzel, weighing in at about 455 calories. Burning that off requires suiting up as a Bronco or Seahawk and strutting your stuff for the crowd.
15 PIZZA HUT BUFFALO BURNIN’ HOT CRISPY BONE IN WINGS DIPPED IN RANCH DRESSING = DOING “THE WAVE” 9461 TIMES
100 calories per wing with ranch containing 220 calories per 1.5 ounces.
FOUR TOSTITOS SCOOPS TORTILLA CHIPS W/ GUACAMOLE = 133 TOUCHDOWN DANCES IN THE END ZONE
The chips of 11 calories plus the scoop of guacamole containing at least 25 calories totals at over 140 calories.
FOUR PAPA JOHN’S CHEESE STICKS W/ GARLIC DIPPING SAUCE W/ CHEESE = FACE PAINTING 23 WILD FANS
370 calories for 4 sticks and one cup of “special garlic” dipping sauce is 150 calories, a total of 520 calories.
FIVE PIGS IN A BLANKET = 36 MINUTES SELLING FOOD AS A STADIUM VENDOR
According to articles on Boston.com and in the New York Times the average stadium vendor walks an average of four to five miles per game, up and down stairs, carrying a 40-pound bin. Each blanket is 67.5 calories for a total of 337.5
ONE CHEETOS CRUNCHY PIECE = TWO MINUTES OF CHANTING, POINTING AND WAVING A FOAM-HAND NUMBER ONE
Having only one can be costly. Cheetos Crunchy Cheese Flavored Snacks have 7.14 calories per piece or 150 calories per ounce.
THREE SLICES OF PIZZA HUT’S PEPPERONI LOVER’S PIZZA WORKS = 322 MINUTES CLEANING THE STADIUM AFTER THE GAME
Three slices means you’re looking at more than 1320 calories.
TEN SLIDERS WITH CHEESE = 363 MINUTES PERFORMING IN A MARCHING BAND
Sliders are small, one or two bite burgers. Each slider is 170 calories. That’s 1700 calories for ten.
ONE BOWL OF CHILI = 73 MINUTES OF CHEERLEADING
A 16-ounce bowl of chili packed with beef, beans and assorted vegetables comes to about 550 calories. A few tablespoons of sour cream and some shredded cheese on top add 150 calories more, for a total of 700 calories.
