Head kisses are a fun start! Fitzness.com
Finding out that someone we care about has cancer is one of the most powerless feelings in the world. We want to help so badly, but since we aren’t personally in possession of a cure, we agonize over other ways to help. It’s often hard to know exactly how or what our favorite patient will want or need as every cancer, treatment plan, reaction and response can be different. Having just finished my 15 month whirlwind as a very sick cancer patient, I’d like to offer up a few suggestions that likely won’t miss the mark. Use the comment section to share your ideas as well. The more, the merrier!
Your time. A cancer diagnosis throws people lives into the chaos of never-ending medical appointments so they likely won’t have too much time for socialization. But your time can be used to support that patient in a variety of ways while sometimes providing companionship.
- Drive them to appointments, listen to complicated medical information and hold their hand.
- Drive their kids to and from school (this was my favorite way to help when I was being treated for breast cancer).
- Clean the house.
- Cook a meal.
- Mow the lawn
- Fold laundry.
- Sit and watch TV together.
- Walk the dog.
- Play with the kids
- Help them manage their hair – the fallen out/shaving process isn’t fun or easy. Some patients may need help finding wigs or hats.
Money. Let’s face it. Some folks are well-prepared for crisis and some folks are not. A few friends offered me donations when I was diagnosed, which I refused because I was insured and continued to work throughout treatment. Not everyone is in the same boat. If you have extra and would like to offer financial support, make the offer.
My Noisy Cancer Comeback. Of course this book was going to make the list, and this is why. I wrote it because the book patients actually need didn’t previously exist! The second a person gets diagnosed with cancer they start frantically looking for two things: information and hope. Go ahead and search “cancer book” on Amazon. Those books all look scary or boring as hell. NO THANK YOU! The celebrity memoirs are fine but they seem to be more about the celebrity’s life and family than the actual experience of living through cancer, revealing very few useful details. My Noisy Cancer Comeback includes endless amounts of juicy details with a variety of tips and tricks to help manage many of the crazy side effects. A constant response from survivors who’ve already read it, “I wish I had this book when I was diagnosed!” So yeah … get it for your friends. It’s very informative and incredibly uplifting. Click this link to order your signed book using discount code SURVIVOR for free shipping.
Meals. Yep. Cancer makes shopping, cooking and even eating very difficult. Be a doll and show up with a meal that you know they can eat. Find out in advance what dietary restrictions or preferences they have and then cook or order something they’ll enjoy. I actually had friends ask me to call and order from our favorite restaurant so they could hand-deliver it or have a delivery service bring it by. That was an incredible gift for myself and my very finicky kids.
Cozy things. Cancer patients spend a lot of time resting. Cozy blankets, shawls, fuzzy hats and socks are easy one-size-fits-all options that will likely get a lot of use. Two friends crocheted me a blanket and a couple of hats. They’re my favorites!
Gift Cards. Again, finances can become strained during treatment. Gift cards offer a stress-free shopping experience for toiletries, food, OTC medications, tissues, gas in the car, etc … I like this idea a lot!
Friendship. Even though my work kept me involved with thousands of people on a regular basis, I was still very lonely and extremely stressed. Simple text messages that read “You don’t have to respond, just know I love you.” went a long way. Sometimes I would receive them while sitting alone sobbing in my car or bathroom. They often gave me the little boost I needed to wipe my tears away and face the day. Call, write, text … it all counts!
Animal visits. There’s a reason for the term “comfort animal”. Animals are comforting! I had my own pets at home that took amazing care of me, but my friend Ann would often show up with her service dog Deux to visit me while I was getting chemo. I cannot describe how much his cuddles and kisses calmed my anxieties. Chemo is scary stuff and the second I saw Deux, my heart rate would slow and I became able to smile real smiles. I also spent quality time at my friend Cheryl’s farm nuzzling her donkey and goats. That boosted my quality of life significantly. Maybe you have a sweet fur baby to bring along for a friendly visit!
Soothing toiletries. Chemo, radiation and surgery are not always very kind on your skin. In fact, they never are. Hypoallergenic lotions, lips balms, burn creams and soaps may prove really useful!
Massage and acupuncture. Yep, you can certainly show up and rub your pal’s feet. But funding and securing an appointment for either one of these treatments by a professional may provide magical relief. Cancer care can yield soreness, pain, anxiety, neuropathy, weakness, tightness or all of the above and won’t your favorite patient be grateful for a little relief!
Fitness training. I’m so grateful that fitness is my profession, because my knowledge really allowed me to both slow down and accelerate with exercise at a gentle and productive pace. I did all of the right things and I feel like I’m bouncing back faster than I would if I weren’t a legit pro. About 10 years ago I trained a woman who’s father hired me to help her bounce back from breast cancer treatment. I loved guiding her back to health and she made incredible progress under my watch. Perhaps you can do the same! Just make sure the trainer is a qualified expert with actual knowledge of and experience with cancer patients.
A cozy bed. Many patients travel a long way for life-saving treatment and consultations. If you’re near that medical care facility, offer up your guest room if you have one. The bills for long drives and hotel stays add up and I’m pretty sure insurance covers neither.
Professional services. I seriously have no idea what you do. But perhaps you provide a service or product your pal could use? If so, make a donation and write it off.
Streaming service subscription. Oy! Spending a ton of time on the couch or in bed is no fun. The gift of Netflix, Disney+, Apple TV or Hulu could be a game changer for your very sleepy and bored friend.
